Some stuff to think about.....

Swimming is not a sport; swimming is a way to keep from drowning! That's just common sense.

Have you ever noticed that their stuff is shit, and your shit is stuff?

The reason I talk to myself is because I'm the only one whose answers I accept.

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man…living in the sky. Who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer, and burn, and scream, until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you. He loves you and he needs money.

Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?

Here's a bumper sticker I'd like to see: "We are the proud parents of a child who's self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn't need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car."

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

So far, this is the oldest I've been.

I think I am, therefore, I am. I think.

What was the best thing before sliced bread?